Bisexual boyfriend?

I recently found out that my boyfriend is a subscriber of gayformen.com, a site for gays and bisexuals, and that he sometimes reads nude mags for gays! I felt shattered when I learned about this. I confronted him, and he told me that it's just nothing, that he loves me and that he's planning our future together. I can feel that he's sincere about building a family together. What I don't understand is, why does he view stuffs for gays? I'm scared that he may not be satisfied when we have sex, and that I may never be able to satisfy him since he's desiring for something I can never have. Is it true that those are just sexual desires and it's nothing? Can a guy love a woman and at the same time have sexual desires for the same sex? Im so confused on what to believe in right now.

...if BF was regularly looking at web sites for guitars or guns or ATV's or wine tasting or PEZ dispenser collecting and getting magazines for same, would you be stunned a few years down the road if he played guitar, went to the range, bought an ATV, drank wine or had a really cool PEZ dispenser collection?

Still confused?

So, he may well want to build a family. Just understand his hobbies will likely be part of the rest of his life. So don't come back here in 5 years like you didn't know.

He may love you. But your concern may still be justified.

Unfulfilled desires can grow over time and as you say, ‘how are you doing to compete with that kind of desire’?

But, if I live to be 200, I would still not understand what anyone would see attractive in men. Women ok, I get it.

Regards,

An obsession is a terrible thing to waist.
Passion once put in motion ....

I know two couples in that situation.
Both Men wanted the front of having a wife only.
Both now have their boy-friends living with them now
Both women now have the absolute right to sleep with whom ever
they like. But are not allowed to have a live in boy friend as the
men do.
The sad part is that their Children are mentally bothered by their dad
sleeping with another Man.
I would advise dropping him now as he will never change no matter
what he promises you.

Hiker

It's the same situation for bisexual women, which I am one....I love my fiane, and want to live my life with him, but I do find women attractive. That doesn't mean I'd rather fuck women than my fiance or anything, but I find people of the same sex appealing. As long as he's faithful to you, I'd not worry about it.

Drema that is very common for Women,
Generally speaking most Women are bi not gay and can handle
living with a man and the maternal instinct of women helps
as they generally want to raise children.
But that is not necessarily so with men.
The need a woman as a front only. Of some can be bi but
most of the time they will move their male friend in with them.

Hiker

I didn't answer the poll question because I think that love and sexual fantasies are two totally separate things. He could love you, and still have sexual fantasies about all sorts of things, that doesn't necessarily nullify his love for you, perse.

Also, I wouldn't say your man is 'on his way to being gay' necessarily, but if he finds gay porn attractive you're going to have to accept that as a part of who he is. Sometimes desires and fantasies do fade on their own, but you don't want to force that issue and get into the game of him simply suppressing it now to make you happy, and then down the road, who knows?

If that is part of his sexuality, maybe the question is, do you love him? Can you accept that from him?

It's probably best to be brutally honest with yourself, or you might regret it later. Good luck, you're in a tough spot.

"He does not need opium. He has the gift of reverie." ~Anais Nin

NK said

Quote:

It's probably best to be brutally honest with yourself, or you might regret it later. Good luck, you're in a tough spot.

Good point.

Hiker

I think your questions and concerns are ones you need to discuss with him, as only he can really know the answers to them.
I don't know what it is like for a bisexual man but i am a bisexual woman and though I am attracted to women I am in love with my boyfriend and am happy to be with him and only him. While i desire women and would happily watch lesbian porn etc I am content with what I have.

Heres another metaphore ...

If someone walks past a shop window and looks in does that mean they will walk in and buy something, or does that mean they are just looking inside ?

I am a guy that has had sexual expereinces with other guys a long time back, but guys that are into sex with both women and men, will not look for a female for a cover story and then move in the male sex partner....

30plus years ago or so that would have been the backs to the walls guys ideal of what its about.

These days i am contented and overly happy being arounsed by women and only wish to have sexual relations with women, but that doesnt mean i do not look at the male appendages, ( long thick cocks ) and enjoy the look of them.in the same tone it does not mean i am out to have sex with them.

I am totaly cool with who i am sexualy..

Perhaps your guy has the same thoughts, but isnt after taking things further




Its usualy termed as FANTASY.........



As humans and sexual beings we need to get past this "if a guy looks at another guy it means he is gay or on his way to being gay"

How many women here look at other women ?

How many guys here watch action films ? ( did you know some people would say watching action films is something only a gay or bisexual guy would watch, masculin man muscled and toned ....

These are two of the most generalized and frankly ridiculous statements I have ever read on here, BH. You can't base an entire gender based on your 2 friends. Men are just as likely to be 'bi' as women. What I do see is a lot less tolerance of bisexual men compared to bisexual women.

If that were true, I'd still be here.

I had a bisexual roomate (a guy) for 6 years; despite stigmas about college kids and bisexual guys, he only ever had one girlfriend or boyfriend at a time. Meaning he could be attracted to both men and women, but he would only have a relationship with one person at a time.

I also had another roomate in that same house, straightly heterosexual and maybe even a bit homophobic ... and he goes through his girlfriends like paper towel. He would have a girlfriend in a foreign country for a coop work term and so he would start dating a girl from his dance club; while sweet-talking to his girlfriend in Europe. Then he started to make a move onto another girl roomate, while he is still going out with this dance club girl...

So I think it's unfair to think he won't be faithful to you just because he is bi. Anyone can be faithful; but it takes effort for everyone.

Thanks for wishing me luck Naughtyknickers...

Questions have been running on my mind for months now -- as to why he's into those stuffs, what aspect about it does he find appealing, etc. I've actually tried to talk to him about it, so that I can understand him more. It's just that he's not ready to open up that side of his personality. He says that I should just trust him, he knows what he needs to do and he wants to handle it alone.

He's been attracted to gay porn for almost 8 years now (I snooped around his bedroom that's why I know). We've been together for 3 and a half years, and prior to me, he's had 2 ex-girlfriends. One realization that hit me though, is that even if he has been attracted to gay porn, huge cocks, or sexy men, he CHOOSES to be with women. Putting his bisexual desires aside, our relationship is in fact the best I've ever had. And I can totally see myself with him in the future.

I guess this realization is what keeps me to stick with him. And I'm hoping that one day, he'll grow out of it.

Kronnie,

Thanks for your two cents. Feels reassuring to know that there are other guys like the case of my boyfriend. I'm really hoping he'll grow out of it...

Question though, what made you stop pursuing sexual experiences with men? Also, if I may ask, do you have a wife/family of your own?

The reason i stopped having relationships ( of only a sexual nature ) with guys is because i think it was mainly just a phase i was going through as a teenage male.

No i dont have a family or a wife, never been married and not had the chance to have a family. (And i dont mind you asking either i like to think i am quite an open guy )

But your guy may grow out of looking at other guys and getting aroused, he may not though, but either way it doesnt mean his love for you is any less, and does not mean he will wish or want to persue males in a real life sexual way.

Sometimes were have fantasies about things we are not always in control off.