Please advise: Going outside the relationship, physically.

What are some of your experiences with open relationships? Here's some of the scoop: been together 4 years, lived together 3, plan long term goals and always speak future tense. We're best friends, never talk about breaking up (like I know some couples do), and we get pretty freeky in bed. So if we've fucked each other 10 ways from Sunday (his words), whats so wrong with sleeping with someone other than each other? Not being whores of course, but if the opportunity arises....
This is never been something I thought was okay, however it's come up lately, and I seem to be cool with it. Plus, this chick was all over him at a bar and I was just kinda watching from a far and thought it was pretty humorous how unconcerned I was....so anyway, what do ya'll think?

I've just enough time to take note
of the thin seaweed like blades of grass.
They flow in the pulse of the tide
and caress your face or brush right past.
-Treasures that I travel for

Whatever blows you hair back I say!

So long as both of you are OK with it, fill yer boots!

If that were true, I'd still be here.

Open relationships are not for everyone, but if it works for you then I see nothing wrong with it. You were able to test the waters a little bit when seeing him at the bar, so if that did not get to you, it might just work. This is something you really will not have a definite answer until you try it and see if you actually do like it. We have considered swinging in the past; but, just the sight of him with another woman makes my heartache, I can not handle it. Kuddos to you

I guess it depends on either one of your emotional feelings for each other. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't go with someone else, but I would never want my gf to be open with other people and I, alike could never go and sleep with someone else.

This is only because I feel very emotionally attached to my gf. We have a bond, like trust and faith that makes you feel wanted or treasured.

It is fair to say that everyone is different, but I honestly feel that to presume that you would be ok with an open relationship is pretty risky, you never know what might change afterwards. But then again it could be awesome and work out really well. It just depends whether you're willing to take that risk.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.

Quote: James Dean RIP

I guess this is what i'm concerned about. I feel like if it goes awry, we may never be able to go back to where we came from?

Thanks for the input guys!

I've just enough time to take note
of the thin seaweed like blades of grass.
They flow in the pulse of the tide
and caress your face or brush right past.
-Treasures that I travel for

This is why I opted out of swinging. I don't think I want to take that chance and have either one of us resenting eachother. That risk is just not worth it to me. I think we will just stick with our dirty fantasies

One of the keys to an open relationship is open communication! You both need to be able to honestly tell each other exactly what you're feeling without fear of how they will react.

It is a positive sign that you can see him with another girl and be unconcerned. I often tell friends who ask "How could you watch her with him?" that no matter what happens I know she is mine and will be coming home with me (eventually ).

You and your guy should talk A LOT about this before moving forward. Can he handle seeing you with another guy?
If you're serious and decide to move forward, I recommend going to an off premises swingers club. It's a no pressure environment where you and he can flirt and chat or just watch.

Good luck!

I think that is exactly the problem. You can never really go back to what you were as a couple before swinging. You can try..... but it isn't the same. I don't regret the choices I have made. I regret the faith I had in other people's choices....

She's leaving part of it out...She can't stand to see me with another woman, and that doesn't bother me. She is more important to me than anything. But we both think the idea of another man is really hot. I know that I could never fulfil her desire to be screwed by multiple men and the idea of it really turns me on. So we incorporate having another man in an MMF threesome. Seeing her being used just makes me boil and I couldn't be happier if that is all we do...

Just make sure that whatever you do that everyone involved is okay with it, and always remember, compromise makes a relationship feel more like you own it, and less like it owns you.

Geez, How could I leave such a big part out? Like others have said communicate, and compromise until you find a comfortable happy medium for your relationship. In our case, I am uncomfortable with certain things, so we opt out of those things. No pressure=good. I one day I change my mind I will tell him and we will move forward from there.

Well yeah, thats exactly right also. I always say, it's not about who you trust, but who they think they trust...kinda along the same lines.

I've just enough time to take note
of the thin seaweed like blades of grass.
They flow in the pulse of the tide
and caress your face or brush right past.
-Treasures that I travel for

Def not my cup of tea. I do not share well with others.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?

I have the same sentiment.
My fiance and I have talked about a FFM threesome and has told me that should would be willing to if I absolutely wanted, but I could not have sex with the other women (only touching and oral) and that she would have a hard time dealing with another woman being with me, even if it's just kissing and a BJ. In the end, the restrictions and consequences are just not worth it.

Thank you all so much, so I think basically if it were an opportunistic, casual type of thing that would be cool. But by no means would it be okay for anyone to actively persue someone new. We have been only crossing paths lately, but now that i've had sometime to think about it I intend to discuss it further.
The kicker for me is: Then he goes out with a girl from work for drinks and calls me at work to tell me he's doing so. The purpose he says is so nothing would look fishy if it came up, she ended up kissing him that night. *sigh* So what do ya'll think about that?

I've just enough time to take note
of the thin seaweed like blades of grass.
They flow in the pulse of the tide
and caress your face or brush right past.
-Treasures that I travel for